Shoes.

I used to journal online quite a bit.

"Journal? Don't you mean blog?"

No, I don't. May I continue?

You see, once upon a time, in a galaxy not so far, far away, I was bitter, so that made it easy for me because I could just say things like "fuck shoes!" and it would fly (or I guess I should say "and I ran with it"), because I felt like I was allowed to hate whatever I wanted and feel justified in my..... feeling.

Don't get me wrong, I still don't really like shoes, but to voice it just seems so unnecessary now. I mean, I'm happily married to an amazing woman (understatement) with an adorable (yet sometimes unbelievably aggravating) puppy in a highly liberal (which I like to claim I am) town working a full time job that doesn't suck (notice I'm being a pessimistic optimist on this one) and am slowly hacking away at a photography degree, which is something I love to do.

So why, if I have so much good in my life, would I take the time to voice my dislike for les souliers?

Because it's SO. MUCH. EASIER.

Love is a difficult thing to voice to the masses, you know? Each and every one of us loves in different ways and when it all comes down to it, it's personal, intimate and none of your god damn business. All I will say about love is that there are many things I love in my life, but talking about the things I don't is just so much more entertaining, especially since dislike is a pretty common thing among the populated earth.

Don't get me wrong for a second time. To speak in opposition to love, there are very, VERY few things I hate. I am not a hater. I am simply a disliker. For me to hate would mean that I am ignorant. I'm not. I am fully aware that there are reasons that I am not a fan of certain things, be they lessons to be learnt or simply to contrast anothers love in the whole battle of good and evil scheme of things. I am much too intelligent (and lazy) to waste any of my time hating.

Anyways, you may be reading all of this but are still having a hard time grasping onto a word I've said because you're still trying to figure out how I can possibly dislike something like shoes. You're probably wondering if because I'm not keen to foot fashion, do I even wear shoes? Well of course I do. Not only because in many places it's required by law, but, I mean, above all, they protect our feet, right? I like my fet to be safe, and hell, some of them are neat to look at!

However, in a world where there exists a fictional group of beings called Hobbits, entities which are fully capable of walking wherever, whenever they like completely barefoot, a man becomes jealous. I love nothing more than to be barefoot. Sorry baby. If I could do it all over again, I'd marry the concept of being barefoot, because my god (figure of speech) how liberating.

Unfortunately, not only are the aforemetioned laws in place, but because civilization has evolved into not giving a shit, foot protection is absolutely necessary, as can be deduced when regarding the two inch scar on my market piggy. I mean, when a man can't even play frisbee in a park without ending up bleeding profusely from here to eternity, you know something went wrong somewhere.

But where?

Was it the invetion of glass? Was it the invention of a frisbee? Was it the invention of a park? Was it the invention of man? Of course, you'd have to beleive in creationism to go for the latter.

What I'm getting at here is that the shoe is just a cover up for something we did wrong.

Sure they're a vitally important article of clothing in the extinguishing of massive fires, but hell, had we not created fire in the first place our feet wouldn't need protecting from them, yeah?

Natural forest fires don't count either because they're NATURAL. They weren't meant to be fought.

Human beings in their quest to be the all mighty rulers of earth and the discovery of all that it contains just never really think twice about whether their discoveries were meant to be discovered. They automatically think that they discovered it for a reason and that that reason is for the greater good and don't even bother looking at it from the other perspective of maybe it was better left undiscovered.

Of course I'm being silly implying that fire or even shoes may have been better left undiscovered/invented, but the specifics aren't whats important in this post now, are they?

Wait... are they?